If Skynet is still out there... Job's cannot die!

My Twitter Handle: @ReturnBarnitude

I know, you are surprised that I am not talking about boobs or women or ways to get there. But this is a serious issue to the awesome community.

Before the Turtle neck come along! He used to Suit up!

Mr. Jobs (RESPECT) is the (co-)founder of Apple or Pixar (or so you would want to think) Legendary people very well know it is not Apple that is Steve's biggest achievement. It is the much bigger than just an iPod or iPhone... He created an illusion; No a World and a need. That still is seen around the globe! An easy job? Hardly!

Get this you have the biggest and brightest developers working for you. With you telling them what to do,  a college drop-out at the fore-front of innovating and designing. That requires a clear-cut picture (a visionary) or maybe just a star-wars fan! 

Here is a challenge: Try convincing your maid to work 2 hours more and you'll know how miserable you are! Jobs has created something Wikipedia likes to call Reality distortion field! He convinces people to buy things they did not even know they would want until that 'moment!' If he were a Casanova he would have been getting laid every other minute.

When I was starting out... I worked with an awesome boss and he said to me, "You are what you are, but how about you tell them what you are? It is not okay that you just work, but tell the right people how you work. You my boy, are you're own spokesperson!"

 

Banished from the company he established, started a new company, innovation galore and such a rude shock!

Though this may sound to you fella's as an obit, all I want to say is, 'Steve was and is the guy to make humanity see communication and telephone since Alexander Graham Bell! (Read TechStreme Comics on him here) 

Normally I do not ask the universe for anything today I ask of you, 'One final keynote and then let your will be!' 



You need to watch:

 

P.S. If you want to get laid easy... you must have 1% charisma and convincing power of Mr. Jobs! True Story!

What they say is true, Bitches be crazy.

In the past few months of not blogging, I learnt a few new things:
Never sleep on a mat with an A/C going full blast and
its never too late to grow back balls.

But the most thing I learnt, though I wish it was untrue, women are dumb. There is something wrong with their basic brain chemistry that makes them wet for the wrong things.

“What does that mean?” Random guy, who still reads my blog and is my number one fan! What I mean is very simple, appreciating them gets you nowhere. Period.

“So, what is so new about that, you jackass!” Frustrated number one fan, what's new in that is that women are just not evolving.

Simply put, be a jerk. A jerk does not necessarily mean physical abuse. Rather physical abuse does not make you macho.

Why I wrote this blog in the first place:

On some random nights out on the street, I have seen women being dragged by their hair (metaphorically). One such event that horrified me was when a guy was actually was abusing a woman physically and verbally. The woman just stood there taking it, making sure no-one was looking at that. I and my photographer friend Pratik Desai, thought we should be helping... As weird as it may seem when the woman saw us approach, she left. That struck us like a bolt of lightning, especially me, I wondered sleepless that night, Why do women like abusive relationship?

This incident fucked me up, big time!

Since, that day I decided to change my attitude towards women. I was nicer, not as rude as I used to be, more understanding to their feelings(sensitive), attentive (torturous [My dad bla, my bro bla and my ex don't get me started] she did start on it) and everything gay. Not surprisingly, it has come back to bite me! 

It got me f*cking nowhere. Rather, I became like a punching bag. I used to be dominant; in the quest of being nicer I lost that. Expressing your real feelings, gives women a superiority orgasm, avoid doing it. No matter how good she looks... You seen better. Even better, there is one right on the next table.

I am not advocating physical or verbal abuse, never. Just that if you don't keep them on their toes or they shoot you in your face.

I thought understanding them is all I need, after I understanding them, I know they are just plain crazy. A dear friend (who is a woman) has agreed with a grin.

My Twitter handle is here, if you don't like what I say or need to rectify me. Feel free to contact me on Twitter. 

Face-Boob

Music, Sex, Drugs and Rock n Roll is something that resonated in the minds of once brothers in a group called Self Confessed Freaks...Dream Shredded into tiny zillion pieces by a single girl who raided our lives! I tried to glance back in anger but instead came up with a theory... I like to call Face-Boob Theory!

Barney states a thousand times in the Bro Code that you can hit on a girl when: -

1) Your Bro called on her first,

2) If the girl is anyway related to your bro is related to her in past, Present or        undecided future. (Also includes wife, girl-friend, etc.) 

3) If your bro 'loves' her.

I am guilty on all this three charges of the bro code which in case of wingman philosophy is held in the highest esteem; but there are loop-holes which I realized when I did something really bad to a certain individual I like to call Mick Nitra!

Mick 'was' a great friend and I broke the bro code in with a certain anonymous female he was dating at that point of time; the incident took place around 4 months ago.

Mick never got over the girl and hence the cracks in our friendship just got deeper and deeper; a thoroughly confused soul that Mick is he doesn't know his source of anger after the stale event! This point itself is a mystery in itself.

I tried to analyze Mr. Nitra’s problem and there was one conclusion that I found;

As Mr. Stinson had mentioned to Marshall,

You cannot get over a girl when: -

1) When you picture her face whenever you do something stimulating ;),

2) And cannot stop picturing her boobs unless you see more and remove her stale relationship boobs from your mind!

Maybe Mick suffers from one or both of these syndromes; and hence has found it perfectly viable to give in to the demands of human species having both the necessary variables! Which I did try fulfilling.

My suggestion to Mick is see a lot of pretty faces and some awesome boobs and you would know Barney was right! Maybe there happens to be something mystical thing called love, but there is nothing a good Whiskey and a girl can't cure!

FACE-BOOB EX Bro!!

 From the old Barney Blog 

Cocktail: - The True Story

By Barnacle of ADK


Some genius of a person (tear rolls down) was thinking way ahead of his time and came up with a brilliant code word in the sight of all.

The wingmen so many a times depend on the great magical powers of alcohol to get their bro’s some hoes (Do not mean to be derogatory it just rhymed). But saying “let’s get her drunk” was too crude like hitting the woman with a club like in the stone ages to get laid. One or two or a group of wingmen with an eagle’s vision racked up their heads to come up with a term which will give the bro a helping hand and the woman in perfect mood.

Cocktails just a brilliant term: Two Words

COCK TAILS

Get the lady a COCKTAIL is the green signal for the bro while the warning bell is MOCKTAIL.
Now understanding the terms: -

COCKTAIL means the woman is looking for a good time while Mocktail just a CONVERSATION!

How the historic moment of discovering of term came about: -
Dude dude
We should totally have a code word
Yea like for some hitting on a girl
Or I need to get busy with that girl
Yea
COCK TAIL
Gentlemen we are going down history!

I salute the great thinkers. Thanks to them life is a little sorted! Cheers!

The Gay Right Uprising Around the world

Why the government’s are ‘legalizing’ it

Humans are mammals, and some of them find solace where rarely would a straight man go except in the morning. But that’s something I don’t really care about, but the sudden realization of the world governments. Whoops! Let’s not forget the Gay Rights!

Yes! You fought long and hard for these rights, you deserve it (blabbers a little more)…. What’s your point? Good question, Imaginary person frustrated at my poor writing skills.
What I am trying to say is the Gay Rights caught a fancy a bit too easy and at all the wrong times.

I am sorry to say this (Actually I am not) but the whole Rights issue was a big time distraction from the actual shit happening in the background. Bills were passed behind closed doors and no-one even knew about it.

Why are you talking about this? Good Question. Now very irritated and about to kill me reader of a blog where he doesn’t why he ended up!

The reason I brought this issue up is for many reasons, there is a lesson to be learnt here. If Gay rights are finally a reality we should pressure for other things mainly:
1. Legalization of porn,
2. Right to Strip-Clubs,
3. Marijuana instead of cigarettes,
4. Right to have no rights or duties,
5. Regulation of prostitution,
6. Getting proper definition of a child (Read: Child Labor and drinking laws).

These are just some random things I want...! The whole point of discussing this is only to talk timing of when to hit the system hard. And my motto will be, “Be the distraction, and get the diversion done.”

For example: -

The next terrorist attack lets not say no to terrorism, let’s say yes to Marijuana. Let’s not blame the Babu’s let us just say I denounce my rights and the duties towards this state, unless you do your bloody duties. The state has us frustrated, like a smart woman pointed out to me over and over again, “Indians are sexually frustrated!”

For once, I would like to thank gay guys for showing us the way.